Posts Tagged ‘skinny jeans’

5 Very Good Reasons to Retire Your Skinny Jeans

As seen at Hole in the Wall (Austin)

As seen at Hole in the Wall (Austin)

1. Have you any idea the pressure on women to be thinner than their man?  No need to shrink wrap yourselves and put us in an immediate disadvantage.

2. Skinny jeans induce a particular walk in a man which leads us to believe that if we were attacked in a dark alley, you’d be no help.

3. The skinny jeans do you absolutely no favors in the presentation of your, um, parts. I mean when the poor little dude is squished up like that, you’re likely being misrepresented.

4. Just because Billy Bob Thornton got to bang Angelina doesn’t mean you should replicate his fashion choices.

5. Give your legs enough room that we can assume they’re muscular under there. We’d like to hope you could hold our weight for, well, long enough anyway 🙂