Posts Tagged ‘austin chronicle’

The Chronicle’s review of my album is total bullshit

Can you believe this shit?

I mean really, can you believe this?

They had the nerve to write that about me?  About my band?!

They just couldn’t handle the fact that we’re really good and people like us, so they have to try to sabotage our shit!

I mean the reviewers at that paper are a bunch of failed musicians… so, just because their bands sucked and nobody liked their music back in the ’80s, now they get to get their big pens out and shove them up real artists’ asses?  To think I gave those swine the pearl of a year’s work.   I don’t even think they know what a real fucking band is anymore at the Austin Chronicle!  I don’t think they would know a real fuckin’ band if it punched ’em in their big fat mouths!  Those Pretentious Fucks!!!

And I don’t even think they fucking listened to it!

Look!  Shelley King got three stars!  You mean to tell me my album gets two stars and Shelley King gets THREE?!  YOU’VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!!!!!

Two fucking stars.  Two motherfucking stars!!  Thats what I get after all I’ve done for this town?  It just doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t add up…  I mean my band totally kicks ass… unless… hold on… I know whats going on here… I know exactly whats going on here!  This is all just one big FUCKING CONSPIRACY!  Thats what it fucking is!!  It’s crystal clear to me now!!!  This is one huge fucking conspiracy against me by the fucking Illuminati!!!