I’m gonna get all the chicks, just like Hank Moody


Yeah, that's it

Man, Hank Moody is so fucking sweet, I mean he is just the ultimate badass. I didn’t think any dude could ever be that smooth and get that much tail…but hey shows what I know. Seriously he gets all the chicks all the time, and the whole time he just does whatever he wants, and doesn’t give a fuck what anybody thinks. I guess that’s just the way the real world is, I mean nice guys finish last, right?

…but thats not really true either cause underneath it all Hank really is a nice guy, and that’s the shit the chicks dig, is hes a total fuckin badass, but he respects women too, just like how I’m gonna be.  Sardonic attitude? check! Bad Boy image with a romantic streak? double check….Hey, just giving the chicks what they want, right?

No, wait, THIS is it

Been nice knowing you beard, later long hair, later plaid pearlsnaps, later Jetta. Hello black suits, hello duderings, hello typewriter, hello vintage sportscar, hello intellectual macho attitude. When I walk in a bar now and see my buddy im gonna yell out “whats up my nigga?”, not in a biggoted way, but in a Hank way, I mean people will be able to tell the difference right? I mean i’m gonna look just like Hank Moody, so its not like anybody will think i’m a racist asshole, right? I mean the most important thing is to let the chicks know I don’t give a fuck, right?

Bottom line, its all about nailin that fuckin badass Hank Moody ‘tude. Lets face it, thats what chicks really want. They don’t want some dude that’s a square and has a job…..chhh boring!!! They want a dude who drives drunk all the time, smokes pot in front of his kids, doesn’t give a fuck about anything.

Just a dude who doesn’t shower and smells like pussy ’cause he’s banging all the time…just like how im gonna be!

One Response to “I’m gonna get all the chicks, just like Hank Moody”

  1. sallygirl

    I love Californication. That being said, the way Hank falls ass backwards into pussy is one of the liberal artistic licenses the writers of that show have taken. Aim high kiddo, but don’t be shocked if the caliber of plentiful pussy you find is a little less desirable than the hotties Hank bangs! Let me know how the not showering works out for ya too. This is a social experiment I hope you follow up on the documentation of – should make for entertaining reading at least!

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