When is the Apocalypse going to happen already?


Ready for the Apocalypse

Alright I got my 10 year supply of freeze dried food, I got my guns, I got ammo, I got night vision goggles, I got a shortwave radio, I’ve got a seed bank, I just finished the bunker, got the windmill and solar energy.  Alright I’m ready to go – lets get this apocalypse up and running already.

Seriously I just spent a shitload of money on this new water filtration system and if the world doesn’t end real fucking soon I’m going to look like a total jackass, so whenever your ready apocalypse… ’cause I got the feeling everyone is starting to laugh at me behind my back.

Hey if anybody needs me I’ll be in the bunker trying to figure out this bullet reloader, I mean this little number is going to be a goldmine in the post apocalyptic barter economy.

Shortwave Radio

Hey Honey!  When you get around to it can you give me a mohawk and spraypaint those shoulder pads I’ve been asking you about black, yeah I can’t put the metal studs on until you spraypaint them…thanks Love.

Whats that Love?   Why did I buy a used school bus… well where else am I going to store the barrels of gasoline?

Apocalyptic Gun Stash

Bobby, what are you doing down here?  Shouldn’t you be in the yard practicing with your boomerang?  Whats that, why do you have to learn boomerang?   Young man what are you gonna do if you get seperated from your food cache?   You can’t use a gun, every cannibal gang for 10 miles will hear it!  Well I don’t care if the Mortenson boys don’t have to use boomerangs!  I am your father this is my bunker and I make the rules in here!  Look!  Ned Mortenson is a fucking idiot and his family won’t last a week after the shit goes down!  Now any more lip out of you mister and theres going to be an extra session of bible study tonight.

Jeez, I tell you what, if this apocalypse doesn’t happen soon there’s going to be a mutiny in the old Anderson household.

One Response to “When is the Apocalypse going to happen already?”

  1. Brady

    Hey don’t let them laugh at you. You can never be to prepared. Your readiness has not only given you the one up on the Apocalypse, you will also bode well during a zombie invasion. However I did not see or hear mention of machete. Also a nice can of BBQ Baked Beans would make a bunker delight.

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