Archive for the ‘Fashion’ Category

Crazy About Shoes

It puzzles men everywhere, the seemingly universal affection women have for a new pair of shoes.  Unarguably a trip to the shoe department is the surest way to coax a fantastic mood out of a woman.  Yes I do already own 4 pairs of black stilettos but that in no way precludes the need for another.  So what is the fascination?

For one, there are so many unique and colorful choices.  Shoes have become an art form and a pretty shoe can make even the ugliest woman feel more thoroughly put together.  High heels force a posture that is tall and confident and calculated.  The incline in the heel which throws women slightly off balance requires an effort on their part to restore balance in the way of taking each step in a careful manner.  It forces the female hips to sway seductively in order to progress sufficiently.  If you gain five pounds from the ice cream you promised yourself you weren’t going to succumb to, your shoes still fit perfectly.  There’s an evil little boost of confidence women gain from slipping on her most outrageous pair of red sling backs because we know that other women notice shoes, and we know when we have on the most enviable pair in the room.

No doubt I’ve made little progress in convincing any men here that women are in fact sane and rational creatures.  We may not be sane, but there is rationale to every decision we make.  The inputs that go into our tastes and preferences are collected and considered, though completely overlooked by men.  Women are accused of being shallow and emotional creatures, but I submit to you that anger is an emotion.  Now let’s re-tally the who’s more emotional poll.   Women have figured out how to process emotion and the outward residual is sometimes tears, sometimes laughter and sometimes, it’s a shiny patten leather pair of Mary Jane’s.   Don’t judge us, we know what we’ve got going on in our heads and in the end, what’s the price of a pair of shoes when it means a happy woman.

5 Very Good Reasons to Retire Your Skinny Jeans

As seen at Hole in the Wall (Austin)

As seen at Hole in the Wall (Austin)

1. Have you any idea the pressure on women to be thinner than their man?  No need to shrink wrap yourselves and put us in an immediate disadvantage.

2. Skinny jeans induce a particular walk in a man which leads us to believe that if we were attacked in a dark alley, you’d be no help.

3. The skinny jeans do you absolutely no favors in the presentation of your, um, parts. I mean when the poor little dude is squished up like that, you’re likely being misrepresented.

4. Just because Billy Bob Thornton got to bang Angelina doesn’t mean you should replicate his fashion choices.

5. Give your legs enough room that we can assume they’re muscular under there. We’d like to hope you could hold our weight for, well, long enough anyway 🙂